i like how you expanded the portamento section. now there is some cool potential story telling going on. maybe modulate to a new key (?). sometimes there is a Gb in the bass which sounds suprising (especially because g notes occur in the melody). I expect it to go towards G and then to C and back to F (or B to C and back to F) but thats just personal preference. also that high register melody starting at m16 is screaming for attention. maybe make it more audible by muting other instruments.
I think this is pretty solid. The melody that occurs throughout the piece could be spiced up because at some points it felt repetitive, like someone was telling me the same joke over and over again. It does make the song pretty identifiable because that melody is stuck in your head, which makes it really strong for a main theme or something. So maybe find a balance between surprise and expectation. As far as the melody goes I think it's pretty good. I like the portamento thing you did starting at m46.
♩♪♫♪♬♩♩2/11/21 7:45