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Full Version: This is not okay.
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As with anything I write past midnight on an academic sleeping schedule, please expect yourselves to be reading a long rant. Or not.

Starting to write this off at 2:25 AM. This is also roughly the time I'm on Twitter, Naver, Pixiv, or some other artist-oriented website to look up fanart of, well I'm pretty sure the regulars of this site know who I am talking about. I just finished looking through five years worth of archives in Tumblr and at the current moment I'm writing this I'm asking my friend to scroll through Twitter for me since I need sleep for finals.

Most people believe that my "liking" towards this character is probably just a normal thing, a noticeable trait that defines me who I am on this site. Other people even think that I'm forcing this kind of personality to just talk about him to no end only to hog attention over the chat. Regardless of what you think, you should have seen me talk about him a several times before, and if you haven't, then most likely you will experience me talking about him.

But obviously, there does come that point where a small interest turns into a legitimate concern, even if it's something trivial as a fictional character. If this character has the ability to influence what I want to do in my daily life, or if things pertaining to him can send me on the verge of making or breaking my day, or even make me feel physically ill just by being in the presence of, then that's when it's a concern. A lot of positives can come from having an obsession, as well as a good handful of negatives.

In either case, if I don't have at least any sort of connection to this fictional character for prolonged periods of time or if something happens to him, I end up having some moderate withdrawals or a really high chance of getting pissed off. I'd hate to say, but I actually feel dependent on him that instead of consulting real people for help, I just want to drift off into this (very intricate) world to envision events in a story I'm writing about him.

I guess that brings me to the topic of the positives about having an obsession with him.

One of them being he makes me happy in whatever situation I have to be in, especially unpleasant experiences I have to deal with from time to time.

Two, he's a major point of motivation, so pretty much every hobby I'm known for is revolved around him, and I often have the mindset of, "if this is him then you have to put your utmost effort into whatever you do."

Three, I've actually learned a bunch of things from creating that story about him, since I often have to do research on things such as borderline to agricultural R&D. I've also picked up the basics of Live2D and the Korean language solely because of him.

Four, he's a great repellent in case I feel tempted to have a legitimate relationship with someone.

I don't quite remember everything I'm supposed to say or if this vent was supposed to get anywhere at all. But anyways, my ending time for this post is 3:21 AM.
Admitting you have a problem is the first step.
And which character?