The goal is to come up with the stupidest story.
There's no winner, there is only like "current stupidest story".
Don't be offended if you are the stupidest story. It's actually a compliment, since you're the current best of all stupid stories.
Try and beat my example story!
I was walking through the moldy grass, then I saw a patch of green mud. I pulled my 100lb phone out of my pocket and looked up "green mud". It was no mud. It was pickle barf. Then, while researching, I saw the term Stupid Cucumber. The Stupid Cucumber is a living giant cucumber with big eyes, arms and legs. He also talks and owns a company called SCL, also known as Stupid Cucumber Laboratories. I heard a voice behind me, it said "The melon that woke up the lemon!" I looked behind me, only to find the Stupid Cucumber. He lifted me up and threw me in a bush. I fell asleep and woke up underwater. I licked the sand as a shark swallowed me whole.
The end.
Once there was an old man named Cody. He was 41 years old. Cody worked at a whiteboard manufacturing company. Specifically, he worked in the marketing section. One day, he had an idea that whiteboards can have automatic green stains.
Some may not know what an automatic green staining whiteboard is. However, this concept is fairly obvious and can be explained shortly. Whiteboards at the time had things like semi-automatic green stains, automatic red stains, and even black stains. Some automatic stains were not even stains, but keys. The keys came in varying colours, but stains always stayed the same color. This concept proved to be immensely popular, and whatever automator was used, sales always increased substantially when automatic or semi-automatic devices were added.
However, when he proposed the idea to the whiteboard marketing department staff, they disapproved strongly. Some said it would be silly to sell whiteboards that had automatic green stains, for obvious reasons. Red stains, they said, were perfectly acceptable, but green stains? No way, Jose! Or specifically, "No way, Cody!" Others sympathised with Cody, arguing that originality can often be a key factor in success. However, more experienced and higher up workers objected saying that the company was doing poorly and that the company could not afford to take risks as risky as these. In fact, Cody's sanity was questioned often after he brought the idea up. In the end, another one of Cody's ideas was rejected for the siseth time. This was not the first crazy idea he had, but it was, in fact, the siseth crazy idea he had. Before, he was a productive member of society, but as of late, he was churning out more and more crazy ideas.
Cody, however, was getting fed up with the rejection he was facing. He soon had a mid-life crisis. He wondered whether he was going insane, and whether his identity as a productive member of society might soon be vanishing. Thus, he quit his job, and decided he needed to travel to the center of Mars to find the answers to his nagging self-doubts.
The above is an excerpt from a story I once wrote. It's no longer availible.
I got aboard a roller coaster and then it rained lemons. Then, I held a watermelon that had strange cracks and lumps in it. Turns out, the crack opened. THE MELON HAD EYES! It looked around and then I threw it in the ocean. A coconut hit the roller coaster's control panel, causing it to fall to the ground, landing on it's wheels. The roller coaster grew arms and legs and ran away, with everyone in it. Then it grew a roof so everyone was trapped. It fell underwater, so it caught fire, making it explode. Then, I found the watermelon. I grabbed it and swam to the surface. I hid it on my grill, then closed the lid. Then, I saw a robber walk up to me and run away with my grill. I did nothing. Then I had a dream, meanwhile, in real life, my mouth was wide open, then it closed on something that tasted like watermelons. I opened my eyes and found out that I bit the watermelon with eyes. I opened my mouth again and it ran away. Then my neighbors mistook it for a normal watermelon, so the filmed themselves wrapping it in rubber bands. It exploded, and then they put the video on TV, the radio, and YouTube. On YouTube, the video got them 2,000,000,000 extra subscribers and it got 23762879809376827832768 likes.
The end.
It was a dark and stormy night, when it was the cannibal duchess's turn to eat half of a Revigator. Perry woke up with a strong sense of anger not knowing that, so he went to the industrial area with his friend Kiwi. The others were at dinner, eating charred spaghetti with some Oops! All Sequences cereal, spiked with a little bit of graphics cards. As it passed, time conjugated the sewers. Ivan was doing a jig with his radiotrophic fungi pals, just when the next show was about to go on. Lemons. Later, Crappy Disk found out that there are ten thousand chocolate onions about to explode under the Washington Monument. A rabbit is involved and his direct link with the phantom skeleton of John K. is wilting upward. How fast is the train going? Turns out, the editorial expires next to the disconnected parrot. The undesirable accomplishes the cluster past the cumulative room. The defeated boards an arrogant owner under the puzzle. A planetary throughput meets tmikdfgjixfojgfogjrifjdisjfijidosfidjso, so Gold Leaf decides she'll cook minute rice in under 55 seconds while riding a speedo. Perry and Kiwi, back in the industrial area, are walking peacefully together, when all of a sudden, Soap randomly appears smack out of nowhere and talks to them. Perry screams in utter agony, because Soap's voice is just go good for you to hear. So the two run away, and call for Farth to take care of the Soap nonsense. Farth says, "I TOLD you not to think about Soap!" and Perry realizes the horrific truth. "OH, JOY! I'm going to lose my career! Soap's voice is just TOO good for television! It turns everyone at home into insane creeps, and, soon, it's gonna infect ME! I've gotta see the vet before this happens!
The end. *whump*
(This story is NOT MINE.)
Once per day, S v e n contemplates the mass of his gigantic website. It made him free of charge. The fat bastard ate cheddar filled with cheddar which contained pubes that smelled like cheddar. Cheddar is Mozzarella in disguise and Brie.
S v e n sat on a chroline atom, causing eggnogs made of twenty separate grapefruits to vaporize into millions of sausages glazed with a paint thinner made for children consumption. S v e n also likes to yeet his sausage into your bowl, causing you to meme Lucas into existence.
You are very gay, because you love Undertale. Goats with epilepsy swallowed some tasty bits of cheddar cheese Mayonnaise, cooled tampons blech. Morticians sometimes eat beans from volcanoes because DEUS VULT! The King of Cheddar scrambled *****ed eggs (that were) seasoned according to S v e n 's (liking). ... etc.
