In addition to what the others said, I think you also need to be careful not to make the piece too repetitive. I suspect you're trying to do a repeated buildup that leads into the rest of the piece (akin to, say, the Beatles' Hey Bulldog), which could be interesting, but you need to be careful. Some repetition is good, but repeating the same motif over and over will get very old very quickly (unless you're Maurice Ravel, that is), so it's probably best to change it up a bit.
I suppose what I'm trying to say here is that, following the initial buildup, you should attempt to build upon the original theme (maybe using other instruments?) instead of simply repeating the already-established motif again. Then again, it's your piece, so how you continue the piece is up to you.
(Also, I don't want to be that one guy who advertises their own pieces in the forums, but I went ahead and made a remix of the piece:
. I hope the original poster doesn't mind too much.)
--NelS
I suppose what I'm trying to say here is that, following the initial buildup, you should attempt to build upon the original theme (maybe using other instruments?) instead of simply repeating the already-established motif again. Then again, it's your piece, so how you continue the piece is up to you.
(Also, I don't want to be that one guy who advertises their own pieces in the forums, but I went ahead and made a remix of the piece:
--NelS